Tuesday, September 27, 2016

celebrate anyway

Enjoying the day today. I need to try to overcome the joy-killers in my life though. You know (maybe you don't) the voices in your head that say, "You really shouldn't be happy or relish in anything good happening to you because ..... (fill in the blank)". I have quite a few things like that in my life. People I care about and fill me with concern. Worries that keep nagging at me. The "what ifs" that I constantly try to regulate and control.

My daughter's best friend doggy pal, Cooper, fell ill and quickly deteriorated and died two days ago.  Just died. Damn damn cancer. It's so traumatic. Death. I hate it. It leaves me feeling sick and sad, lonely and empty feeling. Sad for me. Hurting for my daughter. For the loss of a beautiful faithful loyal furry friend of 11 years. Are we grateful we had him? Of course. Was he loved? Immensely. Could our love heal him? No.

This isn't the Me that used to have all kinds of faith and trust in God.

Sigh.

Ah... but this day, today, always has much good in it. The hot steamy humid days we have been experiencing have ceased. At least for now. It feels like fall and that proverbial "change is in the air" has arrived. And it should be celebrated!

I had a doctor's appointment today, my yearly exam, and I was ten pounds lighter in weight than I was at my last exam in June! I've been trying. Really trying. That should be celebrated!

Norman ran out of the yard yesterday after the neighbors' kids left my back gate open. He was nowhere to be seen. I called for him and he eventually came running from around the block having traveled quite a distance down the street and around the corner. Good dog Norman. You came when I called you! That should be celebrated!

There are so many things I could celebrate even though my little family feels kind of battered and bruised. Let's face it, the whole world seems battered and bruised to me. 

I do still have my faith and trust in God though. It's definitely small as a mustard seed. But God says that's enough. 

And that should be celebrated too.










1 comment:

  1. I'm so happy for you about losing 10 lbs! Believe it or not, I've also lost 10 lbs, and am trying to stay on a healthy eating program. I don't call it a "diet," it sounds too brutal! Ha!

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