Sunday, January 20, 2019

never too old to learn new things and make a better tomorrow

This Instagram photo and account reminds me of my high school and college days when I actually looked at my body and thought I was fat. (I wasn't) It started a downward spiral of restriction and binging which of course was very unhealthy. I now look at my body back in those days with admiration and love wishing I had seen it that way at the time. The images we see today of skinny ripped bodies can be unhealthy motivation for some of us to be the same. My goodness I'm 58 years old and don't need to strive for that! I'm still learning to love the body that encases my soul and spirit and trying to do what's best for it every day.

I think it started way back in elementary school when the little kids were weighed by the school nurse and a few days later each kid brought a note home to their parents with their child's weight on it. In red ink mine always said "overweight" because some chart said I was. Usually the "wise" teacher allowed a kid in the class the privilege of passing out these pieces of paper so naturally other kids were able to see the red letters too. I think that's when I started thinking I just wasn't good enough. Kind of sad really the way it takes many years later to realize I was good enough and I am good enough.

Growing up my mom never told me I was overweight. Ever. She always told me I was beautiful. But she was always dieting and always trying to get thinner. I always thought she was the most beautiful mother out of all the mothers I knew. And she was. Somehow it's stuck with me that dieting made us prettier and worth more. Today I believe taking good care of yourself is the most important thing ....and having confidence and smiling and kindness makes us beautiful. I still struggle at times. But the truth is slowly sinking in and making a difference.

Saturday, January 5, 2019

new year 2019, new home.... so thankful

Sometimes I think of the large home I sold and remember how nice it was to have that big house and yard, but this house is really what I need and what feels right for me at this time in my life. It's been fun to make it my cozy abode and I know I made the right decision to downsize. Here are some photos around the house.... master bedroom, guest room, living room, dining room, kitchen, grandchildren's playroom, office, etc..... in no real order. :)

Thank you for visiting! Let me know what you think. Should I paint the kitchen cabinets white? Should I limewash white the brick fireplace? It's still a loving work in progress. 

I love HOME, don't you?

I'm very happy here and so, so grateful.

Back patio




Guest Bedroom/Office

Office/Guest Bedroom

Office/Guest Bedroom

Front Entry

Dining Room

Living Room




Breakfast room/back door

Guest/Children's play room

Guest/Children's play room


Front Entry


Thursday, November 8, 2018

things I love that bring joy ... gratitude

This list could go on indefinitely but these are in my thoughts today....

yoga stretching.... feels so so good

a clean organized non-cluttered home (but not too neat because then no one is comfortable!)

a walk on a crisp fall day

a hot bath

memories to linger over .... preferably with a cup of coffee or glass of wine

deleting, cutting off or eliminating negative people and noise from my life

doing something kind for someone

receiving kindness from someone

meaningful conversations with friends

a hug from my granddaughter

hearing from or meeting up with an old friend

balance in my life .... something I want to think a lot more about....

Monday, September 24, 2018

more home improvements

The last week was busy and work continued. The initial landscaping, for now, is finished. New sod was installed in the front and new decking was built on top of my cement patio in the back. The indoor living room window shutters turned out especially nice and now I have more privacy... and it's beautiful.

I had to purchase a retractable ladder to be able to reach an air filter placed high up on the living room ceiling. Changing that was scary and I don't think I should be doing it alone. I did want to get a ladder that would reach it since I had no other way to get up there. Sometimes doing things like that really get to me though and I'm reminded I have to figure out how to do things by myself. This one was especially hard. Sigh.

Except for some new doors and cabinet painting I am getting to a place where I'll rest for a while and just take care of things as they are. I'm content.

living room window shutters

new sod installed

outdoor patio decking

Monday, September 17, 2018


I officially moved into my new house on July 9. That's the day the movers came and I no longer had furniture left in my old home. When I sit down to take inventory of all I have done since then it's really quite a lot!  It was only 2 1/2 months ago. There are still big things happening this week that I will post about in a few days, but I'd like to post some words and photos of what has been done so far.

There has been tree trimming and removal. New paint. New fence gate and inside blinds. There has been driveway leveling and sealing.

Granite countertops and backsplash was installed. I still plan to have the cabinets painted. Off-white... I think.

I removed the glass sliding door in the bathroom (by myself!) and replaced it with a rod and curtain.

The backyard tends to flood when we get excess rain.... which we did the last couple of weeks. It didn't seem as though grass would grow so I replaced the ugliness with river rock and extended it down the fence line where the water would gather. And I had a little garden plot installed!! Just enough to begin planting! Not sure what's going in there yet!

There are so many other things I've done like making the laundry room area more cute and functional, installing some brick stonework under the outside trash containers, working and planting in the front flower bed, and applying a peel and stick tile in the master bath. And not to mention figuring out how to use the reciprocating saw (scary!) to remove a shelf under a cabinet so my kitchen trash container will easily fit!!

Right now the landscaping in the front of the house is being worked on. The guys just kind of tore up the the soil and removed the weeds and grass that was there. New sod will be installed and old tree stumps are being ground up. The flower bed will be more defined.

As a side note, I assembled an Ikea play kitchen for my grand daughters. I can't tell you how much I hate to assemble things, but I will do it for them.

I'm still (impatiently) waiting for my front entry door to come in... and some interior bifold doors for my laundry area, but tomorrow the shutters will finally be installed on the arched living room window. 

The second phase of work by the landscaper will also begin this week. Composite decking will be installed on my back patio and extended out just a bit more. It will look nicer than the painted concrete and I think add a fresh new look to the outdoor space. I will post picture when it's done!

So this has been my life. Between navigating this move, downsizing my living space and fixing up my new home the way I like, I have been busy. There have been friends visiting and daughters and grand babies to love on. There have been lessons learned about myself, my own challenges to overcome, many prayers said for struggling friends and family I worry about. I'm always trying and often failing to take the best care of myself by eating right and getting enough exercise. 

I haven't missed the old house. Memories and love and people are always carried with you in your heart wherever you go.

But I think this... below...  is what I tend to strive to do on a daily basis and I will continue to do.
As much as possible....


Friday, August 17, 2018

New home

So much has gone on since I last wrote in my little space here three and a half months ago.

I bought a new smaller home.

I sold my large home that I had lived in for the past 10 years.

I basically moved the contents of my home little by little, day by day, in my Honda CRV for a few weeks until the movers (three wonderful strong and nice men) came and moved the big items!

I made countless trips to Goodwill to get rid of stuff... so.much.stuff.

My body hurt every day due to arthritis, etc., but I got it done!

My house sold quite a bit over the asking price so I could not be happier with how everything turned out.

I've learned through this experience that there is no perfect house. I decided I just had to DO IT... move to a smaller home in a good location... because I was always finding reasons NOT to. And now I am fixing up this space that is my own with numerous projects going on.

Saying goodby to the home Edd and I shared was a process that lasted a few years. What once made me feel secure and safe was now making me feel swallowed up and anxious... somehow losing myself within its walls. There was space not being used. Space that didn't go with my personality anymore. Too much upkeep and work.... I wanted a home that enveloped me... yet one that was a cozy, warm and inviting space.

I am making this one just that....little by little.

I heard that the new people will move their belongings into my old house this weekend. It will have a new soul... just like this home I live in now has a new soul and energy. Mine.

Home is a word packed with meaning for me. I'm grateful that it has always meant something good. Something safe and warm and filled with love. I seek to make my new home a continuation of all the homes I've ever lived in or made my own... a refuge and a place where peace and contentment dwells.

Tuesday, May 8, 2018

a new home

I just bought a smaller house nearby.  Well the closing will be in the next week or two. So now is the time to think and reflect and remember the last ten years I have had the privilege of living in this wonderful home. It's big. Bigger than I need. I always hoped it might be filled with family. Visiting from out of town or coming for holidays. That never really panned out. It has made me sad, but I won't dwell in the sadness. I will dwell in the reality of what is and all of the goodness that makes up my life. Imperfect as it is.

This was my home with Edd. The memories here are bitter and very sweet. In some ways it reminds me of all that could have been ... but never was. So much hope lived here. And lots of joy... and probably even more pain. But above all else love... commitment, loyalty and compassion. The kind that will do whatever it takes. But also ... the eventual end of a dream (with you Edd).

Am I reflecting and being introspective? I am. Is it all part of living and growing and changing and learning and being oh, so very grateful for such wonderful life moments and days and years in spite of the greiving and pain? Yes. A million times...yes. 

I have done it many times in the past so I will once again have the job of making
 a new house a HOME.