Sunday, November 8, 2015


Sitting outside now in what feels like a perfect morning. The air flowing through is cool, but the sun is warm in the bright blue sky. I just put birdseed in the bushes.  The sparrows and finches couldn't be happier unless they all stopped fighting over the best position. The bushes are full of birds and there is enough food for all of them. Norman watches... and listens too.

I took a walk already. A decent brisk half hour dog-less walk after first walking Norman around the block. Chatted with a neighbor. Trimmed some new shoots that sprung out of bushes during the last rain. Cut back a crepe myrtle that needed a little attention. Now as I sit with some hot chocolate I'm keenly aware of my blessings and grateful the hot summer months of 2015 are now a thing of the past. I change my position and move into the chair beside me that is in the shade and soon need to move back into the sun for warmth again.  It's the sun that warms; the air is chilly.

I sit and pray for those I love who need a little help... or a lot of help. I breathe in all my blessings and pray to be able to exhale a little service to others. A great way to begin the day.

Tuesday, November 3, 2015


I have been feeling better lately. I am not as anxious. I am not as stressed. My aches and pains have either plateaued, gotten better or gone away.

Why?  What is different?

I'm not looking up every ailment I might or could or possibly have on the internet. I am not trying to hunt down the magic bullet that might make me feel better... like the food or vitamin or supplement that fights this ailment or helps with this problem... menopause, tendinitis, arthritis, anti-cancer, oh my goodness, you name it! I'm just trying to live my life.

I am exercising moderately. Riding my bike. Using my elliptical. Walking. I am eating all kinds of good food... fish, vegetables, whole grains, cheese, fruit, wine!!

Everything in moderation.

There is so much information out there today that can lead to more confusion. How can we ever get it right? Especially when the information and consensus by the medical community and "experts" seems to change daily? Coffee is good for you. Wine is bad, no it's good in moderation. Chocolate is bad. A little is okay. Carbs are bad. Sugar is bad. Real bad. Fats are okay. Good fats that is.  GMO's Bad, Bad. Organic good. Cholesterol is bad. Eggs are....Wait! It's okay! HUH??? Take this... don't take that!

I think from now on I am going to eat what I want, limit the quantity and ENJOY! Moderation. And choose healthy foods that nourish my body, but not get caught up in the newest, latest, information that comes down the pike. Because it just might change tomorrow. No, it WILL change tomorrow. I have been guilty of chasing down the trends and it hasn't helped my health in the least bit. Maybe hurt some?

So tonight I am having my 6 oz. of wine, and a sensible dinner... and I am not going to worry whether I get it all RIGHT! I've exercised, kept my thinking positive, prayed, read my Bible..... been open to how I can contribute and give of myself and my resources....

Amazing how good that is for my health!

Sunday, October 18, 2015

on my mind today

Thinking about many diverse things today.... of people I care about and hoping they know I love them. Love can be expressed in so many ways people often can miss it, interpret it wrong or just don't feel it. It sometimes gets expressed in fear or worry when it should be expressed with patience and acts of kindness.... but we are human and sometimes blow it. We need to take good care of ourselves too though. Feed the soul and be kind to yourself.....let yourself off the hood once in a while.

I'm thinking of my daughter, Jenni, who is going to be a mom soon. I am seeing her mommy heart grow bigger and bigger every day....full of a mother's love for the little brand new life inside of her. I couldn't be more proud ... and humbled... and grateful for little "P" who will arrive in another few weeks.

This is a very loved little girl....already....

I wish I could help some people just slow down and think... and use their God-given minds to make good decisions. Ones that bring life and opportunities ... peace and contentment. Life gets tough sometimes regardless of whether we do the right thing, but we can't keep walking a wrong path and expect life to be easy .... or good things to happen.

Sometimes I love my backyard best of all. Pulling weeds, feeling the breeze, watching the birds and other critters busily doing what it takes to survive. 

I've been wanting a cool morning for weeks now and when we finally get one I decide a bike ride would be perfect. I must be getting more and more comfortable with heat because I felt uncomfortably cold with the 55 degrees. I doubt I'd survive a winter in the North anymore.  The fall colors gave me happiness .....

I saw this picture today and just gained five pounds thinking about holiday baking. It's a wonderful thought and brings to mind many happy times. Thank you, Mom, for all the wonderful memories I have to do with the holidays, and just being together having fun.

When all is said and done, kindness matters. It matters a lot. Often I'll look back at an event or encounter I've had with someone and think I could have done better... spoke a little nicer, been more of an encourager. Obviously, speaking our mind truthfully needs to take place too... and truth can sometimes sting... and is just what we need to hear.... but everyone is fighting some battle of their own and a kind word could make their day. 

And lastly, I'm thinking of discipline. And doing things that are hard. I'm needing to get out of the rut I'm in and I have a new resolve. It involves being more mindful and working harder.

Unless you change how you are, you will always have what you've got. -Jim Rohn

Discipline is remembering what you want. -David Campbell

Discipline is the bridge between goals and accomplishments. -Jim Rohn


It's nice to have good intentions, but we have to act and do the work if we want to accomplish anything .... 

Things on my mind today.

Monday, October 12, 2015

journey and contentment

I'm on a journey. One day, one step at a time. We all are. Some days I feel so confident and other days so full of vulnerability and need.

Some days ready to move forward... move on... other days stuck (not sure that is the right word) and happy just where I am.

But what I do know is that when I'm ready to move forward, I do.. and when I am not, I don't. I have come so far... and what is ahead will reveal itself in the proper time.

Every day is full of new experiences to process... and I want to accept who I am without apologies... as to where I've come from and where I am going. If others don't understand it's okay. It's my own timeframe.. and God's....

Feeling content tonight....

Thursday, October 1, 2015

today and every day

Some days are just like that.... a song, a memory, a feeling...  

.... brings everything flooding back like a tidal wave if it were yesterday... and not years.... it's part of living... and having loved and been loved ... deeply ....

Today is a day like that.

I sing again.

I dance again (sometimes).

I laugh.

I have joy... peace....

I remember happy things.... and smile... and savor the memories.

But today. Today I give myself permission to cry.... and grieve all the things I am missing. Mostly your strong arms.... 

I miss you so.

Every day.

So I'll just let those waters flow over me... and wait until the calm returns.

Tuesday, September 29, 2015

those without challenges need not read any further

Love is patient
love is kind
does not envy
or boast
it is not arrogant or rude
it does not insist on its own way
it is not irritable or resentful
it does not rejoice at wrongdoing
it rejoices with the truth
love bears all things
believes all things
hopes all things
endures all things
Love never ends.

I so love these beautiful words reminding us what love is... and what it is not.

But sadly sometimes it's not enough to change things.

I'm reminded that each one of us has something, some challenge, that has the potential to blow out our candle if we allow it to. That candle representing our joy and hope and the love of life.... love of learning and becoming ....  and savoring each day. Although it may flicker for a while, we can't let that flame burn out.

I'm not alone. There are many who hurt over the choices of those they love. Or other challenges. Some physical.. some emotional.... some financial. Disappointing and painful relationships. The list is endless. Most of us have a struggle we face that I believe is designed to bring out our best and truest self. Oh, maybe not right away while we are in the storm, but I don't want to forget that truth... or let my flame get blown out....because our deepest hurts have the potential to deepen us and bring out something good... make us better. In time...

Wednesday, August 19, 2015

a few thoughts

There is so much to learn. So much to think about. So much to talk about. So much to do. How can anyone ever be bored? I never understood that.

People I care about are going through some deep challenges. Some marriages are breaking down. Relationships ending. Friendships struggling. Grieving people are experiencing loss. A child stuck in an addictive lifestyle. I don't need to name all the ways people are hurting.

Time doesn't diminish the missing of our loved ones. When I stop and think of Edd or my mom, I can easily be reduced to tears within a few seconds. I miss them every day. I think of them every day... but life softens the rough edges of grief a little bit so we can at least function and have other experiences in life and even have joy again. The emotional feelings are softened that once struck us like physical blows. Truly there were days I didn't know if my body could hold up to the pain I felt.

There are a lot of people we meet each day who are the "walking wounded". If we could see inside deep into the hearts of some of those we come into contact with we might have more empathy.

If loss and grief, struggle and pain doesn't make you a more compassionate human being then I think the experience was mostly wasted. Sometimes that is the only good thing that can come out of our pain.