Saturday, November 23, 2013

thoughts for today

I decided today that waiting till Thanksgiving to make a pumpkin pie is a bad idea.  I think this year I will spread Thanksgiving goodness throughout the whole week before and even after Thanksgiving!   I think the expectations we build up over the holidays can threaten to lessen some of the joy and I don't want to do that.

Thanksgiving Day I plan to do some volunteer work in the morning.   Other family members have plans for part of the day too.  When I get home I'll make a turkey and lots of other yummy things, but it's all about enjoying this time of year and remembering the good in our lives.  We can have leftovers all week.  I'll drag out some Christmas decorations ….

I'm learning that I need to be able to be flexible and fit into the changes in my life.

I took a walk this morning and gathered leaves as I went along.  They were so pretty. Texas changes in the fall too.  It just takes longer…  Few things bring me back to my childhood the way a cold Autumn day does.  The memories are vivid…. the way the air smelled along with the smoke coming from our chimney in New Jersey as my dad burned fragrant cedar logs.   Today was cold… all day…  upper thirties here as I walked… and the air made my ears sting.  I like to walk because it's a good time to think and pray…  remember… and center myself.

Changes come all throughout our lives.  Maybe I'm just more aware of it now than I used to be.  As soon as you settle into a new "normal" that normal changes again and we need to readjust to begin to feel comfortable again.  Like the seasons….

I'm looking forward to purging things out of my life that aren't useful anymore.  Things that aren't positive or helpful or beautiful.  I am becoming more and more drawn to simplicity and ridding my life of clutter.  In a world where people seem to want to continuously accumulate stuff I am seeing the enormous value of getting rid of the noise in our lives so we can really hear what's important.  It's a process and I have a long way to go.

My wish today is that all have enough….. being content and grateful… with always enough.

Sunday, November 17, 2013


Recently I heard a statement that I could really relate to.  You know how you can hear words expressed and not think much about them ... and then you hear something that brings poignant truth straight to your heart.

"Life is about timing... and timing is everything in love and in loss...."

When I look backwards in my life it only confirms that.  I am still amazed at the perfect timing in meeting Edd.  How we almost lost touch, but then reconnected.  About the rightness of it all.  How I believe we were put together for something of eternal worth... much bigger than we could have imagined, for a special purpose and time.  For both of us.  Though I miss him no less each day, he is still with me... and it's a warm comfortable place in my heart where I sense his love still...

I'm not naturally a patient person when I want something to happen.  But some of the best things that have come to me in my life came unexpectedly... and were dropped in my lap.


I'm grateful for the lessons I've learned and how it's changing me.... where it's leading me.

It's leading me to embrace more of what is eternal and less of what is temporary.  It's pressing me to not fret the small stuff and really see what is before me and whether it has value or not.  To take the time.  It's made me see how so much of what people do in this life is chasing after the wind.  Chasing after things that really don't satisfy.

I've always been grounded, but it's upped the ante... or raised the bar... for seeing what is important and what is not.  It's solidifying my values.

Our society is way out of control with its consumerism and we've just lost touch with what contentment and satisfaction is all about... with a lifestyle that knows how to love simple things and enjoy moments.  We think we need more and more stuff to be happy when that has nothing to do with happiness at all.

Timing is everything in love and loss...

That truth gives me faith and courage for the days ahead.

Thursday, November 14, 2013

many "to dos" to do today

It's been a busy week.   A leak here, a leak there...  some repairs made.  Getting the furnace inspected and up to speed for some c-c-c-cold nights!  Brrr.  When it rains it pours and everyone can relate to that one.  The recent storms also revealed I need a new roof ... bummer.   Such is life.... But today was full of tackling projects and it felt good.  Pushing forward and eliminating things needing to be done.  One day at a time as they say.

I like looking at my "to do" list after a day like today and seeing all I accomplished in my waking hours.  

Got my windshield replaced.  Grrrr.... a stone flew up while on the highway and cracked it a few days ago.

Took down and cleaned some vents on the ceiling that looked yucky.  I bought new ones, but they were the wrong size of course.  I always have to make at least two trips to Home Depot or Lowes to complete one simple project.  Decided to just wash/scrub them instead though!  

Changed AC/Heater air filters and vacuumed the dusty area.

Pruned plants and flowers.  Planted some in pots to replace a few that froze to death last night.  Poor things.

Got current on my "bill pay" and organized piles of papers on my desk.

Ran a multitude or errands, bought and mailed a couple gifts to family and friends, did some grocery shopping...

Got brave and tackled difficult phone calls I was putting off.... 


My desire, my hope, my goal ... is to simplify my life and home more and more.... and more.   There are still some uncontrollable aspects in my life, but much I can do to move toward that end to simplify.  It's a process and I can't expect to get there all in one day... or week... or month but I can keep moving in the right direction.  And I intend to.

You can't reach for anything new if your hands are still holding on to yesterday's junk.
  ~Louise Smith

Simplify:  Eliminate the unnecessary so the necessary may speak!

Tuesday, November 5, 2013

ever changing

Just got back from another trip to the Oregon Coast.  It hasn't changed too dramatically since the first time I went out there.  The Pacific ocean is just as beautiful and majestic as the waves hit the shore... and they hit ferociously too since it was stormy.  Though I got one good walk in along the rocky paths it mostly rained.  One day the weather was sunny, then rained, then sunny, then hailed, then sunny, then rain.... and so on.  Ever changing.

Like life.

The biggest change out there is that mom is missing.  Her smile, warmth and open arms.  Her presence seems to be everywhere though.   It's nice, but painful.  Bittersweet in the extreme.  Memories come one after another like the ocean waves.  Love seems to fill all the nooks and crannies of a home that was filled with her influence and beauty.  

I want so much to embrace and then share all the good that has been mine... so many blessings.... comfort and warmth.  Love and acceptance.... I'm still finding my way in all of this.  Some people seem to go on and embrace life to the fullest again... but I'm still a bit stunned.   Sometimes I curse the deep thinker and overly sensitive me.... but it's who I am and that's okay ... and there must be a purpose in it all....

So I wait, and I move forward, and I do what I can each day.... carrying all the good stuff I've been given close to me ... deep in my heart.