Monday, July 25, 2016

this moment

Ahhh.... what a good day! 

I lost another pound. Sheesh! This weight-loss-after-age-fifty is tough stuff! I'm in it for the long haul though so it's okay. 

After a walk with Norman I did outside yard work in the morning and sweat my you-know-what off as I snipped and clipped and watered and dug and planted...for a couple of hours. This Texas July heat isn't for sissies let me tell you. A frog jumped out of one of my planters and scared me half to death and a large lizard watched me from the outside wall of my house! Yeah, at least he was on the outside of my house. He was a big one!

Another hot day in ATX

Hey there big guy... or pregnant girl! (Hard to tell)

I did some of my volunteer work with the Diamond Dachshund Rescue and also worked out on my elliptical machine.

After taking a shower I sit now with a glass of Pinot Noir and feel at peace.

Peace. It's definitely NOT over rated. It's one of the greatest things in life... Like contentment and trusting in God's goodness... and letting go of worry and fear and..... I could go on and on.....

Sure there are things of concern in my life.  Isn't that true with EVERYONE'S life? But for now I will savor this moment, give all of those concerns to the One who loves me....and be thankful for this day.

Sunday, July 24, 2016

some totally unrelated observations.... serious and not so serious

I would put myself in the "thoughtful observer" category. What I have observed lately is those who speak the loudest and agriest are often the ones who spread misleading information and don't check their facts. Defensive angry people have to win arguments to feel better about themselves. Much better it would be to feel secure in your beliefs yet not have to beat people over the head with them.

It was sad I felt I needed to walk away from a 20-year marriage many years ago. I was at a point of breakdown. Actually I did breakdown. But years later I don't feel bad anymore because I realize I was never fought for and neither was the marriage. I was replaced almost immediately. I have known people in my life who have said they loved me, but never fought for me. That's the only kind of love with meaning for me anymore.

Losing Edd is something I'll never really "get over" nor do I want to. I want to remember the pain. I want to remember the longing and the love and the passion, but I don't want the grief to cripple me. And it doesn't. 

It seems anything imaginable can be looked up on the Internet. And there is support for just about any point of view, so it's important to get the facts and research thoroughly... There is so much misinformation it makes my head spin. 

On the other hand, I saved so much money recently by researching DIY microderm abrasion facial treatments and made my own amazing product! So I'm glad that just about anything can be researched easily on the Internet.

I wish I could tell people, young women, not to give everything away so quickly to a man. Don't sell yourself short. Have healthy moral boundaries. Wait for a real commitment. Edd used to tell me I wasn't like all the women he knew. I was different and so he treated me differently. I would like to tell them to be the person that the guy actually wants to change for. To be the person he knows he must treat kindly and respectfully and lovingly and to really cherish. I felt that. And I'm so thankful. We would need that trust and loyalty, grace, respect, love and commitment for what was ahead. What a glorious ride was ours.

Among other chores I cleaned and purged my closet today. I have done a lot of volunteer work over the last four years....hospitals, library, Humane Society, Operation Turkey on Thanksgiving, animal rescue, etc ..... and I have (had) the T-shirts to prove it! 

Just some random thoughts today....

Monday, July 18, 2016

ruby ring

When I was a young girl I loved jewelry. Rings in particular. I collected them. I'm sure I had conversations with my grandmother and aunt and one wonderful day my Aunt Teresa gave me a very special gift. A ruby ring. I don't specifically remember its origin, but I do know it was special to her.  When I received it I knew I better take good care of it.  

Although I was a very responsible kid, I was still immature at around ten years of age. 

I lost it. 

I didn't even remember losing it. I just knew I didn't know where it was.

Years went by. Quite a few years.

I grew up in Northwest New Jersey on almost an acre of land that was surrounded by woods, so it seemed as though all this land, woods and hills, was ours to personally explore. My dad loved the property and dug up gardens and planted trees and pursued other construction projects over the years. We also had a septic tank that needed attention from time to time... and an above-ground pool.

Years later, one day when dad was out digging, he came into the house with a discovery. I still vividly remember him showing me a ring that was caked with dirt. He asked me if it meant anything to me and if I'd seen it before.

I was overjoyed! Yes it was very familiar and was the ring I lost years before!

I still have this ring today. Decades later.

A special heirloom.