Monday, September 21, 2009

Finding... when ceasing to seek....

Sometimes we seek and seek and seek .... and we do not find. Sometimes we find when we aren't even seeking. That's sometimes even more fun! ... and that's what happened to me over the weekend.

Some days are etched in our memories forever. These are days or moments that have made a big impact on us, and we remember details as though they happened yesterday. That's the way I feel about October 31, 2008.

It was the day I packed up my car and moved from San Antonio to Austin. A stressful day yet a fun day! Edd and I had just bought our first house together and it was my last day of work in San Antonio after getting layed off. I was on my way to officially live in our new home. Edd and I had been married over a year, but until this day we lived in separate homes and commuted to both. I was excited... and it was Halloween. We bought lots of candy. I bought a witches hat and we had dozens, probably hundreds of trick-or-treaters! Moms in the neighborhood introduced themselves and welcomed us to the neighborhood. Everyone was very friendly.

Afterwards Edd suggested we do something crazy like go down to 6th Street and see the Austin scene on Halloween night. So we did. It WAS crazy, but we had fun (won't do it again on Halloween night though!). I grabbed my contact lenses because I couldn't find my glasses, and we hurried out the door ....and... I never did see my glasses again.

I had them on when I drove into our garage upon first arriving and never left the house with them. I knew they were in our home somewhere and I often told Edd over the last year that they would turn up some day!!! I looked high and low never finding them... but held out hope they'd turn up... They had to be ... somewhere. Didn't they?

Well they appeared this last weekend! Almost a year later. I was taking out the fall decorations and lifted my witches hat from the decorations box and there they were ... tangled in the long black hair attached to that hat!! As soon as I felt something stuck in the hair the thought of my long-lost glasses popped into my head and I just knew what I had found before even seeing them! I was especially excited because the glasses I bought to replace them months ago recently broke... and I never did like them as much!

Life's Load

I can't get a story out of my head that I read in the newspaper this morning. It happened a few weeks ago, but today I read more details about it. It's about as sad and tragic a story as could be imagined and the grief experienced by the participants boggles my imagination. My heart is broken for this couple... you see, their 18-month-old son died in his car seat as his dad went to work, forgetting to drop him off at daycare that morning. It was a hot August day in Austin.

When first reading the story weeks ago, I thought, "No, way. How could this happen?... Impossible..." but as the details were revealed I now see how it happened... it was a tragic, horrific accident of the very worst kind. It's in the category of Heaviest of Life's Loads to Bear For the Rest of Your Life. The couple still have not told their family back in China this horrible reality. When the grandparents call from abroad they load DVDs of Daniel playing onto the computer and crank up the volume so the toddler's playing is heard in the background.

It made me think and continues to make me think how thankful I should be, and am for the life I have. This couple, this father, will carry this burden, this enormous burden for the rest of his life. Yes, we all have loads to carry, but some are much heavier than others. My burdens are feather light compared to this one. I can be unfortunately quick to judge, but as I read this story I was moved with compassion and felt the intense grief that this man will live with for the rest of his life. Without God there will be little hope and no peace. My best guess is that if this couple doesn't have a relationship with God now, they soon will. To survive this kind of pain and grief they will HAVE to. Burdens such as these bring death to the soul quickly unless the healing power of God is allowed to take over.

Today I will breathe deeply, look up, and thank God for the peace and hope and rest in my soul.