Saturday, April 15, 2017

Easter memories

Easter. My memories are vivid. My grandparents visiting. Going to church on Sunday. Dressing up in a new Easter dress. Getting an Easter basket in the morning filled with candy, chocolate, a hardboiled egg that we colored the day before... and a stuffed bunny of some kind.

As always Mom made it special. How thankful I am for those memories.

And there were always flowers. Mom would buy some for my grandmother... maybe lilies, maybe tulips... usually one would be for me too.... Hyacinths were my favorite. Probably the reason I always have to buy one when Easter comes around each year. When I smell the fragrance I always stop in my tracks and .... well it just brings me back... instantly... Isn't that nice?

This time of the year there would be tulips and daffodils blooming in the yard outside of my New Jersey home.

So this year is no different. I colored eggs because I love to participate in the memories that are still part of my present...

And I buy some flowers. And drink in their sweetness... and all the love I remember ...

Sunday, April 9, 2017

all of us... being human

"....It all just sort of fits somehow. And even if you don’t understand how yet, people will die in our lives, people that we love. In the future. Maybe tomorrow. Maybe years from now. I mean, it’s kind of beautiful, right, if you think about it, the fact that just because someone dies, just because you can’t see them or talk to them anymore, it doesn’t mean they’re not still in the painting. I think maybe that’s the point of the whole thing. There’s no dying. There’s no you or me or them. It’s just us." (Kevin in This is Us.)

This was part of a longer monologue that a character on This is Us spoke.  He was trying to explain death and life somehow by using a painting full of brush strokes and various colors going in many directions.... all over the canvas. We influence one another and are part of one another's story.  People we've loved and lost in this life and those generations in the past are part of who we are....

Sometimes a show comes along that is full of life and meaning and thought-provoking, really good interaction, dialogue and drama... I'm often in tears at the end of an episode because it touches something deep inside and shows me something of value and what relationships should be about. 

As parents we don't have control over how our children process situations or experiences they've had growing up. We can't control the conclusions they come to or how they see themselves. We can try to help them ... and we do... but each person is unique in how they see the world around them. That's why there can be two kids in the same family growing up with many of the same experiences and yet they can describe an event very differently... because of how they felt at the time.

Today I was thinking about struggles we have in real life. It doesn't matter if you were raised in the best family ever, it doesn't guarantee we will not have problems or issues or things we struggle with... Why? Because we are human. I've come to believe that I will never be perfectly right and healthy in this life. I think it's part of being imperfectly HUMAN. We are all managing being human. I know I sure am. Learning, growing... but always managing being human.