Friday, January 17, 2014

dreams and memories





Memories DO light the corners of our mind....


Life is full of them isn't it?  There are so many thoughts going around in our mind throughout the day and through the night.  Often I'll wake with a thought and wonder now WHERE DID THAT COME FROM?    Some thoughts are awakened while we sleep.  I just wish I could clearly remember them when I wake up.  Our memories feed our dreams....


Dreams.


Recently I had a dream that was so vivid and real... unusual in that I remember it still.  I  was going to meet Edd somewhere at a certain time.  I was walking to the building where we were to meet and I was a little early, but as I got closer I could see through the window that he was already there, eagerly waiting for me, looking out with a huge smile on his face.  His face looked incredibly handsome (as it always did to me) and he was so happy to see me!  I also was overjoyed and showed it by my response to him and .... well it was a very good dream that left me smiling when I soon awoke....


Memories.


Today.  Today I remembered words from my dear husband over two years ago.  Moments before he had his second seizure in our home due to brain mets he told me he dropped a pill (or pills) he was trying to take.  It worried me because they were very important that he take them in a timely way.   I was always so careful and mindful of all he had to do, worrying over him as I so often did..... But I knew immediately something wasn't right by the way he looked at me... confusion on his face.  Soon after that he had a seizure and ended up in the hospital for weeks.....


... I always wondered about that pill or pills he said he dropped.  I searched and searched for them on the floor around the couch but never found anything.  I finally believed he said what he did in a confused state not really having dropped them .... but today...  today I found two little pills in the sofa where he had been sitting... And that memory brought  me back.    It brought me back to a difficult time.... but one full of love and hope... care and compassion....


Memories do that. 




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Today as I prayed for those I love and thought about my own life I asked God to help me to say "yes" to life in all its beauty ... and to say "no" to death in all its ugly forms.


Say yes to love and loving and kindness... joy and goodness....faith, hope....and charity... courage and generosity ... empathy and compassion.


Say no to resentment and bitterness.... jealousy, fear, envy.... greed and selfishness,  judgment and cruelty.


Life is short.  Too short.  And "there's no time for fussing and fighting my friend"....


Let the good memories guide you, teach you, lead you on to do more... be more....  The hardest and best of times have lessons to teach that must not be lost.... For they make us more full of what it means to be human.