Monday, April 9, 2018

life as it is

Ahh... emotional detachment is tough. We can't let the hurts and challenges and struggles of those around us bring us down.  Life can be really hard sometimes as we watch those we love struggling with some really huge, sometimes life and death, issues. Drug addiction, divorce, step families, aging parents, death of a loved one... or even the agony of the death of a dream....

Life hurts. Sometimes a lot.

I turned on the news this morning and saw horrible photos of people... children... in Syria... hit by a chemical attack and I just froze. Literally froze and inwardly wept. The suffering and horrors people are faced with can tear your heart right out of your chest if you have any amount of compassion and empathy at all.

Sometimes, I must admit, it's way too much for me. My heart feels broken over the things I cannot fix or make better. The choices people make that have obvious horrible consequences. I strive to surround myself with peace and serenity, making my home my fortress ... I strive to be positive and hopeful... but I have experienced hurts and I know there isn't always a happy ending.

So, I do what I can. I love. I try to be available. I WANT to be available. I give what I can without neglecting to care for myself. I hate to say 'no' sometimes, but I have to. That's hard too. But necessary.

Sigh... just putting it out there tonight.....

On the bright side.... I talked with a couple local business owners today who were so great. The plumber who came to replace my faucet chatted with me like an old friend. He also helped me with other issues I had in my home and gave me a warm (not creepy) hug when he left. They live locally and I got good vibes from him and his wife instantly and knew they were good people. I texted with his wife about how happy she was with the refinishing of her front door and she shared with me some photos and the local business that helped her out. I'm 57 years old and I must say I have always been a good judge of character... I don't know why, but I just always KNOW. I'm thankful for people like that.

As much as I hurt over the suffering I see in this world ... I am equally, if not much more, GRATEFUL for what is my life.