Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Thoughts and prayers for today

My mind is full of thoughts and ideas bouncing around. Amazing to me is our ability to process dreadful news and go on and live and breathe and ... smile... EVEN THOUGH. There is a tremendous resilience to the human spirit. Growing up and growing older has some wonderful aspects. Like wisdom (hopefully) and understanding and sensitivity and kindness. Oh, how I possessed so little of those qualities in my younger days and thought I knew so much! Will I think years down the road that I knew and understood so little in these present days too? Most likely!

Before we left for Edd's chemo treatment this morning we prayed. Silently. But together holding hands. Edd asked beforehand what in particular I thought we should pray about. I said we should pray that God would use the treatments and knowledge of the medical field to work through his body and fight the disease... and that we need to acknowledge that God is infinitely stronger and more powerful than cancer! So we did....

I got a lot of peace today as I prayed that God would not allow me (or Edd or other loved ones) to leave this world without showing me the truth and giving me confidence in that knowledge. The arrogance and self righteousness of Christians does a lot of harm. I am soul-pained by it. It is everywhere. News and radio shows. TV personalities who claim to speak the truth and yet are clearly motivated by greed. Insidious. The faith I have always claimed confidently has been shaken in recent years, but it is still alive. That I am sure of. I want my faith to give me the power to love more effectively. God will help us with the rest. I've asked Him to.


  1. I Feel everything you are saying. I cry tears of joy and pain with you. I only wish I could express in words so elequently as you do. Your words are so thoughtful and true. I picture all you say and really feel it. Not just the pain of today but also the joys of the past and present. As your mother I have lived some of them with you, the pain makes the joys so much sweeter. I am so blessed to have you in my life and proud to be your mother. I love you always.

  2. You are quite poignant. No one will ever be able to figure out who "Anonymous" is. ;-)

    Ron Dill