Friday, October 22, 2010

Pensive rambling

I've heard it said that if we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back. I'm not quite sure about this. Surely some peoples' problems seem much less than mine, but I do know that we do not know what someone else is going through unless we literally walk in their shoes so to speak. Recently I had a conversation with someone who hurt me. Someone who obviously didn't know the journey I was on. Who seemed to think having more material possessions solved my problems and made me less prone to pain. Clearly thought their problems were more profound than mine. How we hurt one another when we stop loving and begin getting too wrapped up in ourselves. I guess in some ways it's good that no one knows all the particulars of what I'm going through. It shows I'm still able to stand strong and remain outwardly positive.

But we should never think another's life is problem free or that our own problems are worse than everyone else.

I think there is always a way to be honest without being brutal. It never serves us well to savagely hurt and wound with our words. It does damage to the person receiving the words and maybe even more to the person saying them.

All the material possessions in the world won't take my husband's cancer away or return to us what has been taken. Seeing someone you love hurting and struggling every day and witnessing the bravery and not being able to do anything to change things is a pain down deep in the core of your being. Some problems we have in life are of our own making. We have problems because of our behavior or choices and we can count on the consequences coming as a result. But sometimes things happen for no apparent reason. It's not because of anything we've done. Life isn't apparently fair. There are healthy people on death row. There are babies dying in hospitals of incurable diseases. There are many things in life that make us shake our head and say, "God what did you do that for?" I know many of His promises are for the next world, but what about now? No matter how much I learn about the truths of the Bible, I cannot seem to make sense of this world's suffering. I know there are things we learn only through suffering but sometimes it seems so senseless to me.

I'm definitely wrestling with life's questions and find myself in a pensive place most of the time. My heart is touched and bruised more easily these days and I find myself less tolerant of those who are wasting their days complaining about their problems and blaming others for their misfortunes.

There is a Chinese proverb that says a bit of fragrance always clings to the hand that gives roses. The only thing I know I can do to combat the suffering I see is to not add to it but to offer myself. I often underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring. Some things that seem so insignificant can make all the difference to another person.

Wow, I know this post sounds so sappy, but that's my reality right now.... Maybe tomorrow will be different!

He Is With You lyrics

There's a time to live
And a time to die
There's a time to laugh
And a time to cry
There's a time for war
And a time for peace
There's a hand to hold
In the worst of these
In the worst of these

He is with you when your faith is dead
And you can't even get out of bed
Or your husband doesn't kiss you anymore
He is with you when your baby's gone
And your house is still and your heart's a stone
Cryin' God, what'd you do that for?
He is with you

There's a time for yes
And a time for no
There's a time to be angry
And a time to let it go
There's a time to run
And a time to face it
There is love to see you
Through all of this

He is with you in the conference room
When the world is coming down on you
And your wife and kids don't know you anymore
And he is with you in the ICU
When the doctors don't know what to do
And it scares you to the core
He is with you

We may weep for a time
But joy will come in the morning
The morning light

He is with you when your kids are grown
When there's too much space and you feel alone
And you're worried if you got it right or wrong
Yes he is with you when you've given up
On ever finding your true love
Someone who feels like home
He is with you

When nothing else is left
And you take you final breath
He is with you


  1. I heard this song for the first time the other day when you posted it on Facebook. It is still with me and the words are so powerful.

    I have often wished I could "trade" problems with someone else as some seem to have it so easy. And yet there is something about loss and suffering and pain that keeps me close to Jesus. Though even that, doesn't offer the comfort I'm really wanting most of the time. I think when I've tried to make sense of my suffering or anyone else's it usually leads to me just being angry at God. Because nothing about it makes sense.

    You are such a woman of depth to be true to your heart about where you are and what you carry. It's honor to know you and call you friend.

  2. Kathi, that post just has so much in it that is true and human. So often I find myself inwardly impatient with other peoples "trivial" problems, but truly I don't walk in their shoes, I walk in mine and so treat them as kindly as I wish to be treated. I love the words to that song, I've never heard it before. Thank you, as always, for freely sharing what is in your heart & your life.

  3. Really could understand this post...appreciate the depth of this message and the heart of it! Love the song you posted at the end too. I find peace in knowing He is with me no matter what I'm facing in my day!!! I love you friend!!