Ahhh..... there is peace in just knowing I can pray for them.... there is a serenity that comes when you give up control as an act of faith and rest in God's control...
Is it strange that as my relationship with God gets closer... more healthy... that I feel the presence and closeness of Edd even more as well... and more real? I don't think it's a coincidence.
Sometimes I feel this world is even closer to the next than we realize.
But getting back to moms....
I remember when I was a little girl. I was an insecure little kid. I felt the most safe when I was home with my mom in our country house up on a hill in rural New Jersey. I'd walk down the driveway every day to get the bus when I was only five years old... going to Kindergarten. As I'd leave the house I'd say, "Mom am I going to be okay today?" Knowing my fears, she'd always reply, "Yes, you will be okay."
And then somehow I was.... But God forbid I forgot to ask her if I'd be okay before leaving. I'd then have a worrisome, horrible day!
I must have drove my poor mom crazy!
But I grew up.... and out of those fears.
I guess. Mostly.... Maybe.
Fast forward a few decades... and I find myself in the office of a cardiologist after getting a slew of tests done. Basically I was saying, "Doc, am I going to be okay?"
Thankfully he answered, Yes... all is fine.
And my symptoms went away .... Truth is we all need a little reassurance from time to time, don't we?
I had tests done because I needed to know everything was okay.
As I reflected on this I thought, "Mom, did you have something to do with this? You're not here to tell me I'm okay, and boy did I ever rely on you for your words of encouragement over the years. You'll never know.... but I can't help but think you may have had a part in getting me to see someone who could speak your words.... "
All is well. All will be well.
I love you Mom....
You're so right! I can remember thinking I'd be glad to have my kids grow up so I wouldn't have to worry about them any more - but I worry now more than ever, because their problems are bigger. They still call me to confide and talk things out. Today I was aware of a problem between my sons, and it made my heart sick. I prayed so hard about it - that I would be wise, that I would listen and know what to say. And then, this afternoon, son #2 called and gradually told me what had happened. And we talked it out. I could feel my words coming more easily than usual, with less emotion, and I knew my prayer had been answered. There's still friction, but they are stubborn, prickly, strong willed young men, and it takes a while for their hearts to soften up. But I was cheered because I knew my Heavenly Father had heard my mother's prayer. You're right - the next world is literally just a veil's distance away. Sometimes that veil is so thin you can feel your loved ones right there cheering you on. I believe your guardian angels are your family members who have gone on before you, and that families are an eternal structure. Your mom - and Edd - are still right there. Cheering you on, and giving guidance when you need it.
ReplyDelete'When your children are little they step on your toes, when they grow up they step on your heart.' I don't believe this quote is meant as your children are being mean...I think it speaks clearly to the fact that as adult children, we can't 'kiss it and make it better'. We have that heartache until all is right with their world, once again. You and Karen have both beautifully expressed how close our loved ones no longer on this plane of existence are to us. I'm always feeling the presence of them. Today I was shopping for my daughters wedding dress. I suddenly was overwhelmed with sadness that my Mom wasn't there. And it was like I heard her say, 'Oh yes, but I am'! And all was right with the world again. I 'm so glad your check up was okay and that you are feeling Edd and your Mom's tender loving care on 'this' side of the veil. Hugs~
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