Friday evening. It really couldn't be more delightful as I sit outside now sipping a glass of cabernet. The wind picks up now and then.... not enough to be harsh, but just enough to blow away any mosquitoes that might be thinking about landing on my exposed arms and legs. The humidity left as well, and now the air includes that hint of fall that I seem to wait all year for.
I'm reflecting about my day and reminded that life is to be lived or else you're dying... My dad just quoted something like that to me when I spoke to him on the phone earlier. I'm not sure what he was getting at exactly, but he was in a chipper mood telling me all about various things. He says my name, "Kath", numerous times as we talk and I like to hear it. He found some fried chicken he liked at Safeway... and better pomegranates at Fred Myers ... we discussed current events, yard work and drinking wine and Hungarian food. I told him a package I mailed should arrive for him today and he can expect some home-baked goodies for his dessert tonight.
I'm thankful for life as it is today .... it's not perfect, but it's good.
I sit here watching Norman enjoying the green grass in his yard. Early this morning I did trimming and bagging and tying up dead branches and debris after purchasing a new tool that makes yard work do-able... and almost fun! I'm enjoying looking out at the work of my own hands now .... Even earlier than that I changed three bulbs on the truck. I figured out how to replace the left brake and blinker lights and did it by myself after running out to Auto Zone. I spoke to a man there who had lost his wife five years earlier. Sadly he said it's gotten somewhat more difficult again for him because he just lost his dog.... another connection to his wife.... Like I told my dad today... the missing and hurt won't ever stop... but we can experience the joys life brings each and every day…. and savor….
I had some unexpected tears today as I met with my doctor for my first colonoscopy. I looked at the anatomy pictures on the wall as I waited for the doctor to come into the room and I lost my breath, got choked up and tears instantly filled my eyes. I had to look away. Edd got his at 54 and here I am the same age scheduling mine for the first time. If he had gotten it at 50 as they suggest he may have lived. He may not have been so far along with his cancer. That really bothered him but I always tried to lessen the blow and regret he felt… with my words and my actions…. That's what we do for those we love fiercely.
The days come and go and they bring many gifts. Friendship. Love. Insight. Wisdom. Joy. Tears. Laughter. Strength to work. Courage to be open to possibility. Changing seasons and new perspectives. Cool refreshing breezes. Interaction with loved ones and strangers.
Today was full...