Tuesday, February 2, 2010

On daughters


Soon I'll have two married daughters. There's nothing more deeply a part of me. Nothing more precious. The time I spent with them as they were growing up is something I value beyond measure. It seems so long ago as I now see the women they have become. I am grateful for the values, sensitivities, sensibilities, wisdom, understanding I see. I so wanted to be the perfect mother. :-) I felt such a responsibility.... and always wanted to love and nurture and protect and teach. But I wasn't the perfect mother. I didn't always love perfectly but my love for them is unconditional and eternal. I believe they have taught me more than I have ever taught them myself.

When they have joy, I rejoice. When they are sad or feel pain, I feel that too. They're never far from my thoughts.

Seeing my beloved Kristen get married recently was special and brought back memories of my baby girl and how far she's come. Where is that little girl who would lay her head on my shoulder and fall asleep as soon as she was rocked? Where did that spunky little girl go who got out of her crib and into the baby powder and happily emptied most of the bottle onto everything in her room!? I hear her saying mommy come say goodnight and feel the warmth of thousands of evenings reading in bed before good night kisses. There she is standing before us with a strong will and desire to give her best to life. To bring her best to those she loves and those who love her. How proud I am of her. How I love the woman she is becoming. The wedding day was simiple... yet so very special. I was full of joy to see how beautiful she looked on that day and how she radiated joy and peace. She was lovely. She is loved. How I want her to be deeply happy and content and always hopeful. How I want the very best for her always and will be cheering her on.

Jenni, my precious Jenni will be marrying in less than a week now. I rejoice with her! But I do wonder where the years have scurried off to. Wasn't she just sitting on my lap with her biki, sucking her thumb and asking me to read a book to her? Wasn't she just helping me make Christmas cookies or bread or doing her schoolwork at the kitchen table? Isn't that her brushing her doll's hair or pretending she is some princess or mermaid or pioneer girl? When did she grow up to be such a beautiful, wise and hard-working woman? When did this little girl with big blue eyes become so strong and smart and full of depth? She will make a beautiful bride and a loving wife. She has been a wonderful daughter. I am so proud of her. Love for her is deep in my heart and soul. That will never change.

There are some things we can count on.

There will be lessons ahead to learn. There will be joy and pain. Success and sometimes failure. But may there be lots of love and always hope and an abundance of forgiveness and grace and encouragement to cover and protect in the midst of any storms that come along.

3 comments:

  1. This made me cry, as many of your posts do. I love you Mom...

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  2. It made me cry too. I love you too Mom.

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  3. Your writing always touches my heart. You are a wonderful writer. I feel all you say very deeply as you write from deep in your heart and my happy tears flow as the beautiful memories come.

    hugs,
    mom

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