I go in and out of this thing called hope.
I miss him more than ever, but I am inspired by his life. By his love for me. It is motivating me to be my best. It is pushing me onward to do more. To BE more.
I know he would be pleased.
I need to keep building on this. I sense his spirit driving me on.
I am finding the courage somehow to let go of the things I can't control. And oh, there is so much I can't control. Those troubling unknowns. And yet.... I have to find the courage to trust. To find refuge and comfort in all that WAS... and know that it was all true. It STILL is true. Let go of all I am not able to control and trust that the future will be what it is meant to be.
I feel his nearness.
How can I honor you? By becoming better. By making you proud that you chose me to share your life, share everything with. By making you proud and happy that you worked so hard to take care of things. By living a life that is good and caring and loving. By being grateful and appreciative.
By continuing to nurture all the things you loved about me.
Today I took care of myself. I exercised. I smiled. I laughed. I sipped a glass of wine. I took a deep breath of air. I went outdoors and walked in the grass and felt the sunshine on my face. I looked up into the night sky and saw a zillion stars. I said a prayer and I thanked the Lord and will always and forever be grateful...