Tuesday, September 24, 2013

this last year....

Life gets busy... and I'm always learning something new.  About myself.  Others.  And about life in general.  One thing that's nice about having a blog, or writing, is that you can look back and remember things that might otherwise be lost. 

It's been a year since I wrote this.... and this....

Today I discovered it's been exactly one year since I bought my bike.  I've been riding quite a bit and find it's one of the best things I did for myself this last year.  I wish I knew just how many miles I've put on it.  It would be fun to know. 

This last year I discovered what it's like to feel as though you are on a downward spiral that you can't stop.   I found out some important things about myself and I couldn't help thinking about other people like me who are struggling too and may not understand what is happening to them.  Time reveals such valuable insights if we continue to be open.

I've had many an insight these last months.

My doctor prescribed some medication for me for stress and anxiety because I asked her for it.  A while back.  I needed something.  I think it may have even helped some in the beginning but some of these medications can be a slippery slope once you start taking them and can really mess with your head.  I've learned I am better off striving to eat healthy, get plenty of rest and exercise, cultivate friendships... and keep seeking God... trusting Him to the bigger things in life that I just can't understand...   

It's been a busy couple of months for doctor's appointments.  Today was the yearly A Woman's Place exam and I'm happy that's over.  The good news is I am ten pounds less than I was this time last year, but 1/4 of an inch shorter!

That hardly seems fair to me!

I talked to a friend recently who described how she felt when she lost her mom and dad.  She said she felt like a little boat drifting in the middle of a vast ocean... Just not quite knowing where she was or where she was going.  Feeling lost.

I could relate.

And I'm learning...

"If you're really listening, if you're awake to the poignant beauty of the world, your heart breaks regularly. In fact, your heart is made to break; its purpose is to burst open again and again so that it can hold ever more wonders."
- Andrew Harvey

"No person is your friend who demands your silence, or denies your right to grow." 
- Alice Walker

"As long as I can I will look at this world for both of us. As long as I can I will laugh with the birds, I will sing with the flowers, I will pray to the stars, for both of us" - Sascha


  1. The sadness and pain of missing loved ones ebbs and flows. Sometimes I want the world to stop and notice the emptiness of the space left by those I love and are no longer here. It doesn't, the world keeps spinning, as I suppose it should. This last year you have been, I'm sure without knowing or desiring to be...an inspiration to many. Hugs and love from me to you...

  2. I'm so glad you've found such enjoyment with your bike. I have really enjoyed mine. Whenever I'm aching I know I need to get on it and pedal for a few miles, and I'll feel better when I'm done. I imagine it would work just as well on emotional pain. I'm so proud of you for how far you've come and for all of the insight you've gained. I'll bet you never thought you could be so strong! And here you are, still kicking, and still growing. Good for you!