Another day for remembering. Seems everyday is such a day, but today even more so.
I drove Edd's big old Chevy Tahoe. The one with over 200,000 miles on it. I was on a quest for a writing table to purchase and thought if I drove the truck I could buy it if I found just the right one. I didn't, but while I drove around I felt sort of closer to him. That big old Tahoe seems almost indestructible... though I know nothing is ... It felt safe and clunky and kind of like he was taking care of me.... again.
I went to see the condo he used to live in. That we lived and loved in. Kind of where we had our beginning. Just drove slowly past and looked. And remembered.
I went to see the boat....where it sat parked in its parking place all covered up with its tarp. Where he left it. I touched it. And remembered. Happy times that just weren't enough.
The days come and they go. They keep marching on. I am taking time to grieve. I am taking time to remember even though the pain is great and the tears come with ease. They never seem to dry up. I still struggle with it all.
I'm still in the waves trying to come up for air. I will. But right now.... I am remembering. And still trying to catch my breath.
One day at a time ....
ReplyDeleteI think about you so often. You make me stop and count my blessings. I watched the video of my mom and dad and I cried and then...I remembered you. You would have loved 71 years with the man you loved so much. It gives perspective to this Alzheimer's thing. You and I know God never promised us easy but he did promise to never leave us. It is here we do find our peace. Praying for you friend. ((hugs))
ReplyDeleteThinking of you and your wonderful love...many hugs~
ReplyDeleteI've had you in mind and hope you're doing all right. It sounds like you are. Gather as many memories as you can. You can never have too many. They will become sweeter with time, and while you may still tear up, it will be with a smile. You're moving through this in the right way, I think. Just take your time.
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