Thursday, May 19, 2011

strength through support

I’ve really needed to refocus some of my thoughts and activities... To center myself. Even though I’ve tried to simplify my life and it may not be as hectic as someone else’s might be, I can still be too busy to take the time to feed my mind and my spirit what it needs to be at peace.  I am an information junkie and tend to get overloaded with trivial stuff. I have magazines that I enjoy strewn around the house that I haven't read and books that call out for me to soak in their good thoughts and ideas. Yesterday I took the time to read them... and it was just what I needed.   I exercised.  And slowed down.  It was a very good day.

Today began early with a trip to a spine specialist.  It was disappointing in that the doctor prescribed a medication for pain that I’ve decided has more potential side effects than I am comfortable with.  So I feel I’m kind of back to square one.  My problems aren’t that severe according to the MRI and that’s a good thing, but the pain remains.  My neck pain is very likely associated with age and stress.  Age I can’t do much about.  Stress is a tough one right now too.  But there are some things I can do… which I should be doing.  Like…

Exercise (Yay, I did that again today!)

Eating right (Another successful day)

Learning more about ways to release stress (working on it)

Talking to someone who can offer support (check)

I took the needed step today to seek out support.  Both Edd and I are the type who naturally want to be strong for everyone else and especially for one another.  We put on the strong husband and strong wife faces.  But we walk around like moving targets each day and the tensions build.  We need help and support from others who have been there, from those who understand.   I called a cancer support organization today and realized just how fragile my emotions are.  As I hung up the phone I felt hope.  I knew there was a network of support out there.  I need it now… and someday when I am strong, I will share it with someone else.

1 comment:

  1. Kathi, your honesty and lack of self pity astound me. Reaching out for support is a hard thing for some of us. Even after 18+ years of needing to reach out for support from time to time I still feel that I don't need it as much as the next person. Yet I know that I need it just as much. It does feel good when we realize that there is someone not emotionally invested in our situation to lean on and release some of the pent up feelings. Hugs to you & Edd.