Reluctance

I'm getting deep pangs of sadness as I ponder putting away the Christmas decorations this year. For some reason I want to hold onto the season just a little bit longer, savor the diversion from the regular routine of life. Yes, that must be a factor in the reluctance I have to let go of the holiday. It was just unexpectedly good. Partly because the presents were wonderful. Partly because it was fun to give and receive. Yes, the decorations were beautiful... but mostly I think because I felt happy inside and just thankful for all the togetherness... and family times. It felt like Christmas in my heart. Sadly, it isn't always so, but somehow this year was different. It was rich.

I sit here teary now as I think about taking down the tree... or trees since there are two to dismantle. I've had them up since the weekend after Thanksgiving. An extra long time this year. I just thoroughly enjoyed seeing the lights. From the trees inside to the lights outside. Pretty lights hung around the window and around the front door. Each night either Edd or I would plug them in and the Christmas tree would shine through the dining room window. It wasn't elaborate, but just enough to add a touch of beauty to our little place in the world. When it came time to go to bed one of us would go out the front door into the cold air and unplug all the brightness!


I had fun with the baking this year. I enjoyed wrapping presents. Oh, I stressed out like usual and fretted some about whether I got the right gifts for people and whether they would like them, if I got enough or if I got TOO much... but mostly I just enjoyed being able to give.


The memories will linger. Voices will echo in my mind and sights and scents will bring me back time and time again. My heart is soft right now. It's in a good place. It's OPEN. There are things that will stand out this year. Maybe they aren't that different from other Christmases, but I know that I really appreciated all the blessings that are in my life... today... right now.

Having the right person in your life to love and who loves you makes all the difference... in good times... and in hard times. I have the right person in my life.

Family. I love so very much my daughters. Having them here with their husbands for Christmas morning was just a very happy time.


I thought about my parents who have ALWAYS made Christmas special for me ever since I was a little girl. They still do. Hearing their voices over the phone saying Merry Christmas every year. Sending thoughtful gifts and goodies. I do wish we could be together more though.

Going with Edd to his mom's on Christmas day stands out too. It was the first time we spent all of Christmas Day together. It felt right. New Year's Eve with Edd's brother and wife was such fun too.

We aren't all perfect. No, none of us are, but I want to choose to see the best, encourage the best and keep Christmas love in my heart as long as I can.

Usually I can't wait to get back to "normal". To put Christmas away along with the stress and clutter. Today though I'm reluctant to step away and move on... but I will. I'll take down the trees and put the decorations into boxes and drag them back into the attic. But I will also cherish these special memories, hold them especially close... and be grateful.