Sunday, February 6, 2011
kindness and tears
This morning it occurred to me that what brings me to tears most often are acts of kindness. Kind acts above all touch my heart and cause the waterworks to flow. I was feeling anxious about wanting to get to the hospital to be with Edd and knowing I had other things to do too, things I needed to do, things that make ME feel healthy and alive... and he told me to stay home, putz around the house, do what I need to...and take care of myself... Just his kind words made me cry. Here is this man that I love fighting an infection that quite frankly could be life threatening considering his health situation... and he thinks of me... he always has. He's always been very unselfish when considering me.
I remember another very vulnerable time two years ago when Edd was fighting an infection and we didn't even know it. We just didn't know why he wasn't getting better. On the outside I would appear strong, but inside I was fragile and ready to break. A nurse put her arm around me. She saw through the cracks in my armour and showed compassion... and I broke down in tears.
I cry in parts of movies where there is a deep human connection that I can relate to.
I think tears are a gift from God. When our emotions get too strong and powerful it's important to let them spill out. We can cry with someone or we can cry alone, but we should cry when we need to.
Jesus wept. He wept when he saw human suffering. He wept when he saw the deep love and pain others felt when they were separated from one other.
"....knowing that the kindness of God leads you to repentance" ... words in the Bible that indicate that God's kindness has the power to change our lives for the better. Makes us WANT to do the right thing. Kindness inspires kindness.
Being in a hospital situation is pretty enlightening. I see people who should never have gone into the medical profession... and I see others who touch hurting people every day with a care and compassion that is blow-your-mind overwhelming in its power to nurture another human being.
I had to throw away two flower arrangements today that were sent to the house to cheer us and show love and care. The flowers fade and die, but the kind deeds are lasting memories that live on and never fade. They won't be thrown away. Other kindnesses shown hold fast in my mind and heart too.
There are a million things I could write about all of this, but I want to keep it simple right now. I am just thankful for those who show kindness and want to be one of those who can make a difference in the life of another.