The scene as she bring him morning coffee.
Him: Your love goes right through me.
Her: aww....that's so nice.
Him: I feel it.
Her: I'm really glad of that.
Him: Don't know if that is said right, but I feel it.
Her: That's really good because what good is love if you can't feel it?
About ten minutes later he tells her he is going to see where Kathi is.
Things are always changing. Where is my stronghold? Where is my foundation these days? What never changes? I have heard God never changes. You know ... the same yesterday, today and forever. Never a shifting shadow. I need to grab hold of that and hold tightly. But I'm having trouble with the holding on part.
I've felt the need to shut down instead. To shut down my emotions. Sometimes you have to. I am giving myself permission. There is only so much you can feel.
I used to think divorce was a little like death. I grieved the loss of my first marriage for months, maybe years, before it actually took place. But now I am grieving over this present loss even as I have him with me. I feel I am being forced to let go a little bit every day whether I want to or not.
And pieces of my heart go at the same time.