Seems our day was begun by the coffee maker. The coffee was programmed to be ready at 7 am, but real time was erroneously set ahead an hour so the coffee was finished at 6. Edd noticed it was ready and assumed I had some reason for needing to get up that early so he woke me and asked if I wanted him to bring me a cup. I said yes and then we realized the time and wondered why we were drinking coffee so early! After a while we figured it out.
No matter. We always have good talks in the morning over coffee.
But I was still a bit tired. I had some trouble sleeping during the night and got up to write down some thoughts as I sometimes do. I’m going to begin going to a ladies Bible study again and the topic will be prayer. Oh, boy. I have some
baggage deep thoughts relating to that topic and how some “name and claim” their wants and wishes so I needed to sort things by writing them down. I wrote down quite a few pages worth.
I’ve been in many prayer studies before, but at the end of the day, it’s still a mystery to me why He sometimes answers yes and sometimes answers no. Yeah, I’m baffled. I do pray. I am real with God. I ask Him to work in my life. I ask for His protection on myself and those I love. I ask for healing. I give thanks for many things. I talk to Him like a friend. I pray my way through the day. It’s like breathing. But I have learned to give the situations to Him believing He knows more than I do.
I started telling Edd how I felt, and what I had written and he, as usual, had some interesting things to add. You’d think someone with cancer would be pleading with God for healing. Asking for things all the time. But no. He said he rarely asks for things from God, but thinks if God wanted to heal him, He would. He says he’d rather spend time praying for God to give Him the strength to deal with what is going on and to become the person he should be…. and he asks for forgiveness.
Beautiful. I so want to trust Him with the rest. With everything.