Seems our day was begun by the coffee maker. The coffee was programmed to be ready at 7 am, but real time was erroneously set ahead an hour so the coffee was finished at 6. Edd noticed it was ready and assumed I had some reason for needing to get up that early so he woke me and asked if I wanted him to bring me a cup. I said yes and then we realized the time and wondered why we were drinking coffee so early! After a while we figured it out.
No matter. We always have good talks in the morning over coffee.
But I was still a bit tired. I had some trouble sleeping during the night and got up to write down some thoughts as I sometimes do. I’m going to begin going to a ladies Bible study again and the topic will be prayer. Oh, boy. I have some baggage deep thoughts relating to that topic and how some “name and claim” their wants and wishes so I needed to sort things by writing them down. I wrote down quite a few pages worth.
I’ve been in many prayer studies before, but at the end of the day, it’s still a mystery to me why He sometimes answers yes and sometimes answers no. Yeah, I’m baffled. I do pray. I am real with God. I ask Him to work in my life. I ask for His protection on myself and those I love. I ask for healing. I give thanks for many things. I talk to Him like a friend. I pray my way through the day. It’s like breathing. But I have learned to give the situations to Him believing He knows more than I do.
I started telling Edd how I felt, and what I had written and he, as usual, had some interesting things to add. You’d think someone with cancer would be pleading with God for healing. Asking for things all the time. But no. He said he rarely asks for things from God, but thinks if God wanted to heal him, He would. He says he’d rather spend time praying for God to give Him the strength to deal with what is going on and to become the person he should be…. and he asks for forgiveness.
Beautiful. I so want to trust Him with the rest. With everything.
Wow. Edd is so wise. I'm not sure I could have the same words about prayer and God if I had cancer. I know you know he's amazing, but wow. His strength and perspective and attitude - amazing.
ReplyDeleteI struggle with prayer too. I find myself mostly talking at God. And like this whole rain thing - my Grammy calls us every day telling us to plead and pray to God to send us rain. And I figure if He wants to end this drought, he knows exactly how to orchestrate that tropical storm to head our way. Sometimes to me, prayer feels pointless because isn't God going to go what He's going to do anyway regardless of how or what we pray?
I think going to a bible study on prayer is brave. I don't know if I could do that to be honest. Plus I don't do bible studies with churchy people very well. )o: I hope that it's good for you and your own prayer life. And please do share your nuggets of wisdom and what you're learning through it all. I probably have a thing or two to learn there.
Kathi, I find that the biggest challenges God throws at me change how I pray. I frequently ask for help seeing assistance He's put in my life, and to open my heart to possibilities I've not accepted before. Your word inspire me always. Hugs
ReplyDeleteWell said.... you ALWAYS inspire me. I wish there was a way I could learn to pray like Edd.
ReplyDeleteI always wind up begging and feeling helpless. I must learn to trust God will do what's right and help me do what's right.
I pray all day too. I wonder why like you do but I do trust that His way is always the best way. I try not to limit God and humanize him. He is bigger and better and I know it but sometimes I forget. Prayers for Edd.
ReplyDeleteYour husband is a remarkable man. But you knew that.
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