55 years

This week my parents celebrated their 55th anniversary. If that's not something to celebrate I don't know what is.  I talked to them on the phone. I found out where they were going to dinner and called the restaurant to give them a gift card.

Mom and Dad - February 9, 1957  (Aren't they both beautiful?)

Because I wished so much I could be there to celebrate with them.

I talked to them on the phone.  My mom is the sweetest person in the world.  My dad is such a card.  I told him, "wow, you've had it rough. You've had to live with mom for 55 years!"  He replied, "yeah, it's been easy for HER.  She just had ME to live with!" They both make me laugh.  Before we hung up Dad said he thinks they'll stay together for 56.  They are a gift.

I've forgiven myself (mostly) for my failings in that department.  My first marriage lasted 20 years but ended in sad defeat and pain.   It produced two beautiful daughters that I wouldn't trade for anything, but as I tried to grasp a secure place, one was inevitably taken away from them.  That's what I'm sorry about.   I felt a disconnectedness that tends to transfer down the line too.  We are desperate for connectedness.  We are desperate to matter.  I didn't feel like I did. 

I do wish I could have given them the gift my parents have given me. Their commitment to each other.  Their commitment to a life together. I know times were often hard. Life has struggles but they held together.  It is something of great value in a world that seems to walk away too quickly from promises.  

I now have a husband for whom I feel physical pain if I think I've hurt... and he for me.  It's a good combination.  For my daughters though....  I pray they will see the value of sticking it out, even when, especially when, times are less than easy.  And I hope they know I'll always be there for them to help them feel connected again... I wish them joy... always joy...and lots of love... oh, and abundant grace.

The Happy Couple 55 years ago