The more experiences I have and the more time that passes I find I am even more thankful for the parents I was given. They taught me to be independent and to stand on my own. They choose to think the best of me and don't get overly in my face making me feel their way is the only way. We are able to be honest and share our thoughts freely without the fear of being ostracized or judged or looked down on for having our own ideas. I hope I can be this kind of supportive parent as well. It has shaped me and made me who I am.
A friend told me today that I should consider the spiritual and emotional damage that cancer does (or can do) to me while it does physical damage to Edd, and forgive myself when I'm less than perfect even if others will ... either now or later ... be judgmental or critical. I'm such an honest and open person and I'm finding out I can't always be that way with some... because they easily misunderstand... It's made me sad to realize that again. That I can't trust everyone... You'd think I would have learned that by now...
Words can help and words can hurt. I am very grateful for the people in my life who use their words and spiritual depth to pull me out of wrong perspectives.
There are many things I am telling my "little girl self" today. The little girl that needs to be reminded she is doing right. She is giving her all and even when it's not acknowledged or understood and her heart aches and feels trampled on, she can learn and grow and find rest and perspective and the peace that passes all understanding...... She needs to trust God more ... and herself.
|Me with my brother|
|One year old|